You See It's A Funny Story
by redhouseclan
Summary: AoU AU Bruce doesn't leave and they all live in Avengers Tower. Nova is a Stark intern who accidentally lifted Thor's hammer, which leads to an intense background check via Natasha and Gorgeous Man Syndrome. Bringing into question, why does her name seem familiar? M for language.
1. Chapter 1

Anything and everything that happens in the Avengers Tower is recorded and processed by F.R.I.D.A.Y. She may not be J.A.R.V.I.S., but something Tony Stark programmed into the AI has the distinct female quality that lends itself to being more intuitive than her male counterpart.

Avengers Tower, Stark Lab

"Sir, the Hammer of Shame protocol has been activated. Would you like me to pull the feed onto the holoscreen?" The omnipresent voice of the AI echoes throughout the lab.

The infamous Tony Stark, AKA Ironman, casts a casual glance at the Stark Pad, with a slight sigh Tony sips his green smoothie, "Again? F.R.I.D.A.Y. I know for fact I distinctly set multiple parameters to avoid the avoidable. It doesn't count when Wonder Pet picks up his own hammer. Wait, that came out wrong." His attention back on the messy wiring of the suit's thrusters.

"Sir, the incident meets each parameter in full. The requirements are not faulty, perhaps a second look would be best? Captain Steve Rodgers and Dr. Banner are on their respective floors. Should I summon them to the lab?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. says with a hit of sass, what else do you expect from her creator? Mr. Sass himself.

Tony puts down his smoothie and pliers, he quickly strides to the main screen in the middle of the room. With a furrow in his brow, he types out a few commands and a video feed of the Avengers common area comes into view.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. what's the time stamp on this?"

"9:30 AM, Today."

Watching the video play out, Tony's heart skips a beat, the arc reactor gives a tiny flicker.

"F.R.I-" he coughs, his throat dry, "F.R.I.D.A.Y. call a team meeting immediately, they all need to see this."

"Of course, sir."

Avengers Assembly Room

The tension in the room could cut diamonds. Various scenarios run through the minds of each Avenger.

Is there another alien attack?

What has Loki done now?

Is it HYDRA?

Bucky?

Did he see the broken ceiling?

"Stark what gives?" Clint says while cleaning his fingernails with a random arrowhead.

"Yes, Anthony, what news do you bring? I was in the midst of sparring with Lady Natasha." Thor says with a wide grin but his eyes are serious, and his muscles coil in preparation for battle. The rest of the team's focus is on Stark.

Fingers steepled together under his chin in thought, Tony suddenly points them at Clint. "First off I want to say that yes Barton I do see the broken ceiling, you owe me a trip to Home Depot." To that Clint let's out a groan. "Secondly, I needed you all to see this, it's amazing really. Impossible almost. I gotta tell ya Pointbreak, this'll blow your socks-cape?-off. Whatever, nevermind. Just watch."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. dim the light and hit it."

"Yes, boss."

Avengers Common Room, 9:00 AM, earlier that day

Nova knew that interning at the former Stark Tower, now Avengers Tower, was one of the best things to ever happen in her life. At 23 years old, with a Masters in Bioengineering and Blacksmithing, and a lifetime of student loans under her belt this job was a lifesaver.

That was until she discovered she wasn't really wanted in the R&D sector. It's not entirely her fault that her supervisor found her to be a smartass. Okay maybe it was. Though it's not her fault that her microbot went rogue while it's mirrortech was activated, and blew up a few Widow Bites, in front of said supervisor. Her cubicle mate was in charge of fixing the bugs in the software but nooo, no one wants to hear her side of the story. Which is how she ended up on maintenance duty for the week.

Juggling at least 15 empty coffee cups, with more than half covered in equations and nerd jokes, was a challenge to carry to the break room to wash. With her hands full in the elevator, Nova politely asks F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take her to the break room. Who knew how much she flip out in excitement when she first met Stark's AI with a cute Irish lilt.

Humming 'Don't Stop Til You Get Enough' Nova feels the elevator start to go up and immediately panics. "Ummm, F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Where are we going? The break room is down?"

The elevator smoothly comes to a stop, a tiny bell chimes in harmony. "You are in the Avengers break room." The AI intones.

Hands slightly sweaty, Nova notices no one is around. Her arms are full of cups and a perfect high-tech kitchen only a few feet away. She really doesn't want to haul dirty mugs around anymore. Nova gives a quick peek left and then right. Wow, this floor has a 360 view of the skyline, thank Zeus for floor to ceiling windows.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y are any of the Avengers around at the moment?" Nova mentally crosses her fingers.

"No Miss Nova, the scan shows the floor is all clear."

Nova let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and decided to take advantage of the empty kitchen and give the mugs a quick wash before anyone decides to show up. She tip toes past the island and walks behind the high counter towards the sink, which is sparkling in the bright morning sunlight.

"Okay, Nova, you can do this. It's not like you've never washed a few cups before. In a kitchen more high tech than your IKEA decorated one. That belongs to the Avengers. Heroes of the world. Ooh boy, maybe this was a bad idea." Carefully setting the cups inside, Nova drops her head onto the cool brushed steel rim of the sink. "Bad, bad, bad idea. I'm totally going to be the first person in Stark Industries to be fired over dirty cups." With a sigh, Nova begins to fill the sink, "At the least, I'll be fired over clean cups."

Before she could flip open the lid of the dish soap the elevator doors ting open, in a panic she's hugging the soap on the floor and thanking Zeus that she turned off the faucet. Heavy foot steps beat against the marble floor, headed towards the cabinets full of food. A ringing metallic sound echoes in the room like something heaving landed on the counter. Cabinets that are directly in front of the sink!

Before she could scramble around the corner of the hulking mass of metal and dark wood a large hand tugs her up. Oh Zeus, she is about to get her ass handed to her!

"Ho there tiny human!" A deep and jolly voice greets her. Nova, still hugging the bottle of soap, opens her eyes to see a gorgeous blonde god smile at her. His bright blue eyes sparkle, they're framed by thick fluffy blonde lashes. His face is chiseled and sharpened by a strong jaw covered in stubble. Long blonde locks flow around his broad shoulders covered in a grey t-shirt. Her jaw drops and she begins to stutter and point at the dishes in the sink, oh no, it's happening, it shouldn't be surprising but it is. At this moment in time, Nova curses her inability to function around gorgeous men, they make her stupid.

"Oh, pffftt, hello, er, it's not what it looks like, well it is, but-" Nova stutters, she closes her eyes, maybe if she doesn't look at him he'll go away. Hmm, nope, though he is staring at her like he doesn't know what to do. Nova sees his hand reach towards her, well, this is the end then, goodbye, she closes her eyes.

Nothing. Except a sound of crinkling foil.

Peeking she sees a box of strawberry poptarts are in his hand, his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk, and his eyes squint in happiness that only massive amounts of sugar can bring.

He swallows and brushes off a few crumbs from his shirt, " Apologies, my lady, I didn't mean to interrupt you," he glances towards the sink and the bottle in your arms, he clears his throat," I think introductions are in order, I am Thor, son of Odin, Prince of Asgard, and protector of Midgard. And you are?"

"Oh, I'm Novalina, niece of Diana, and, umm, human of Earth." She says decisively while nodding.

"Well met Novalina, would you like a tart of pops? They are remarkable tiny treats." He offers the box, "Thank you, Thor. Um well met." He grins. Nova decides then and there that getting fired would be so worth it.

A beep of a device- omg a Stark phone!- gives Thor a notification of some sort because his grin widens. "Lady Natasha requires my presence in the training facility, excuse me," he grabs a hand to give it a gentlemanly peck but Nova's inner idiot tries to shake it instead, resulting in an awkward moment.

Thor doesn't look perturbed at all instead he looks amused and wishes a pleasant day. He walks back to the elevator and as it closes Nova sees that he forgot his hammer.

Not wanting to lug the thing down to the gym or for it to get rusty from the sink water that splashed onto the counter, Nova grabs it with both hands after considering its substantial size and places it in the middle of the island. She grabs some paper towels to blot off a few water droplets. Satisfied, she finishes up the dishes, dries them off and grabs a tray to place them on. She then heads back to the elevator to the R&D floor, before she steps out she asks F.R.I.D.A.Y. to tell Thor his hammer is on the island. With a hum, Nova walks out, thinking that that's one for the books.

Avengers Assembly Room

"Well...hehe..."

All heads turn to a pale faced Thor.

"At least we know you're a wonderful judge of character big guy," remarked Clint who perched on his chair as the lights returned to normal. "Ow! Nat! I was telling the truth!"

"You okay there He-man? Need a drink? Smelling salts? Poptarts?" Tony doesn't looks up from his phone, calloused fingers still typing away.

Natasha retracts her elbow from Clint's side and levels a look at Tony. "She must be an employee of yours, Stark. Otherwise she wouldn't have access to the elevator, F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s security protocols wouldn't allow it." Nat observed, keen eyes glinting in the light.

"She's right Tony. We need to find out who she is and going by that time stamp she is still in the building. F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you locate this woman?" Asks Steve going into command mode.

"Affirmative, Captain Rodgers."

In the back of the room, Bruce Banner takes off his glasses to hook onto the pocket of his shirt. Brown eyes flicker to hazel to green and back to brown in agitation and uncertainty. "Are we sure that this woman isn't HYDRA? What she did-what she did should be impossible. Right? I mean the math doesn't add up."

To his left is Wanda Maximoff, who's power begins to swirl around her fingers. "She vould't be a threat Banner," she says in accented English," From your stories, no one could wield the hammer of the thunder god, except the purple one. No one who isn't worthy could. But she is." Red swirls take shape of woman, who oddly enough hold a whip, then like mist the image dissipates.

The purple one, also known as Vision, has a look of contemplation on his face. For a three month old he surmised that to be worthy has nothing to do with species, gender, but care for everything and everyone, not just the innocent but the guilty as well.

Rubbing his hands together, Tony stands up, leaning against the table, eyes on the holoscreens surrounding the room. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. comb through all the databases for information on one...Novalina Prince."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Sorry for the delay and psych out chapter update, forgot to add spacers. I'm writing this off the bat, I forgot to add "one-shot" to the last post but I got some requests to make a fic, so tada! Any requests or ideas on a pairing? I'm leaning towards a pop-up stalker Bucky or awkward Steve…for some reason I like Rumlowe as her dishy girl-crush, I do admit to loving a badboy maybe Nova does too. Tell me your thoughts in the reviews! Easy guess to whom Nova's father is?_**

 _ **For canon's sake, the high rise is 70 floors. For story's sake the top 5 floors are the Avengers rooms/kitchen/tv etc, the next 10 are R &D for Tony and Bruce only, and the remaining 55 are staff R&D, offices, kitchen, conference rooms, lobby, etc.**_

 _ **I totally made an outline for this but midway Tony told me to scrap it and go with the flow.**_

 _ **P.S. I do not own any Marvel rights or DC rights…except my OCs. Obviously Gal Gadot is WW.**_

 _ **Also know that arc reactor tech is completely debatable/interchangeable/discussable and combined with loads of cold fusion, tokamak, radiation, emission, etc. It's a fictitious device and has no explanation in canon. Just let it goooo.**_

 _ **Rated M for language and ogling.**_

 **Chapter 2- Mew-Mew**

ON THE PENTHOUSE FLOOR, 9:30 AM

"She seems…kind of spazzy," Clint observed looking at the recording in front of him.

"I don't see it. Wait. Now I do," Bruce said after cleaning his glasses.

"I would think that Molly-" "MOLJNIR!" "Mew-mole would have picked someone who could _actually_ dance. I don't know what to call that move. The Heart Attack?"

"Tony behave, honestly, she dances like you," Pepper gave Tony a half-hearted glare, "Miss Prince is trustworthy, I vetted her before I recruited her. Her recommendations are impeccable, though she does have a problem with authority. Sound familiar?"

Tony smiled too innocently, "Great! Then she won't mind Nat's questioning." Pepper just rolled her eyes.

"It starts to grow on you after a while, I like it," Wanda replied with a smirk. Vision nods his head in agreement and a bit of confusion. _I was not aware humans can move like that?_ _Fascinating._

"Yeah, she can be the Avenger mascot. I can see the headline's now," said Tony, splaying his hands out in the air, " 'Avengers Bring Back Hammer Time'. Classic. You all heard that, right? I'm punny."

"Stay focused, we need to be searching for _any_ HYDRA involvement, not judging dance moves," Steve announced staring at his team disapprovingly. Though from the surveillance feed that FRIDAY pulled from the previous weeks, Steve agrees with Clint, Miss Prince's _unique_ dance moves do look adorably 'spazzy'.

"Steve's right guys, these videos aren't working for us, we need to get to the source," noted Natasha.

Looking around the room several of the Avengers were giggling like children, while Thor, who retrieved Moljnir (read: cuddling) immediately after the feed cut, wore a look of deep contemplation. He had not received any messages from Stark's lady-in-the-ceiling. That being said, he considered returning to Asgard to speak to his father, who by now already knew of this event thanks to Heimdall.

"Friends! Calm yourselves," he bellowed coolly, an electric charge spiked in the air, " Lady Natasha and Rodgers are correct, you must speak to this mortal, and fret not she bears no ill-will. I will leave immediately to speak with my father, he will know what has occurred," Thor sighed, his burly shoulders shrug, "Perhaps he will know the reason why Lady Novalina is able wield the hammer."

The team didn't argue with that response, with a nod from Steve and a mini-salute from Tony, Thor stepped out onto the terrace calling out to Heimdall. With a flash of colors, and a smell of singed ferns he was gone.

"Again?! Come on! That's Italian marble!" cried Tony from the kitchen, chocolate bar in hand, fingers squeezing between his brows. "You know what? Fine, whatever, FRIDAY call up the girl to conference room 36," -

"46, Tony, the 30th floor is being remodeled for a paintball course," reminded Pepper, looking at her StarkPad.

"46, thanks Pep. Hawkeye make yourself useful and hit play again, I think I saw the Q-Tip."

* * *

It definitely was the Q-Tip. Which for Nova is pretty embarrassing, _if_ she knew she was being watched, especially when you have the whole Avengers team reviewing all the footage in fast-forward that FRIDAY compiled for a "Six Minute Stakeout".

Despite her _exuberance_ Nova knows she can't dance to save her life, that doesn't stop her from her elevator dance parties. To make matters worse, the past six weeks of working for Stark has consisted _of_ dancing while working. Another complaint she had gotten from her boss, and just like the vindictive buzz-kill to report her to the higher ups, she has been "requested" to conference room 46 to be…fired.

She trudged her way down the well-carpeted hall to the elevators once again, gathering a static charge with every step.

Nova was no stranger to being fired; she couldn't help being good at what she does. It's in her blood. She can't help people being green with jelly and firing her.

She loves to build machines and to bend metal to her will, her blood and being sings with happiness every time. Nova likes to help people just like her mother did. Nora Rivers was an Army medic in the Medical Corps, a Major (AOC 61Z), specifically a neurosurgeon. Nova studied the best of both fields majoring in bioengineering at Cal-Tech for micro-nano mechatronics, with an emphasis in biomedicine.

Blacksmithing is something she loved even more so she went to the New England School of Metalwork the summers during Cal-Tech. Officially her name is Novalina Remi Rivers-Prince, one guess why she likes Nova. As for her father, she's never met him, she can hold a grudge though even with her mother's stories of how they met and fell in love. He still left and never came back.

Unfortunately, when Nova was five her mother died in a car crash, dead at the scene. So says the police report. At that point, aunt Diana took her under her care in Washington, D.C. and adopted her. She's not really her aunt, but her mom's best friend since she aged out of foster care. Oddly enough, aunt Diana seems to age very _slowly_ , slow enough to look like Nova's older sister. Living in the age of super-heroes and super-villains she doesn't question it, she barely bats an eyelash.

Up until now she was doing a good enough job not getting fired.

Once the elevator doors tinged open, Nova stepped on.

"Everything will be fine, Miss."

Jumping in shock she fell against the rail, "F.R.I.D.A.Y? What do you mean? I'm going to get fired! All over some stupid cups and complaints that that total _Umbridge_ made," huffed Nova crossing her arms, "and why did you plop me onto the Avengers floor? I pretty sure I don't have access to it. You're not taking me somewhere I'm not supposed to be again, right?" Waiting for an answer she felt her arms tingle weirdly, mini shocks going throughout her body steadily growing stronger, and sweat gather on her forehead.

Nova was convinced that she was having a heart attack.

"Oh no! No, I'm too young to die! I haven't even seen season three of Sherlock! FRIDAY!" she cried out, the tingles getting worse, her heartbeat speeding up, "Call for help, I don't know what's going on! I can't-breathe," she gasped. Now she was really panicking she could barely keep from falling over, the lights above her begin to flicker and a heat starts to rise from the walls. With a jerk, the elevator stops. Sending her crashing to the floor. Nova looks down at her hands, and snaps her head up so fast she almost gives herself whiplash.

Her. Hands. Are. Glowing.

"Crap."

* * *

"Boss, Miss Prince appears to be in distress. Her vitals are extremely high. The elevator has stopped on the 35th floor. She's in elevator 4D."

The lights to the room flicker on and off, before settling down to normal. If a tad bit brighter.

This announcement and action causes the Avengers to, well, assemble.

Steve, going into Captain America mode, began to hash out a plan. "Stark, immobilize the rest of the elevators and let no one else onto them. We don't know if she is affecting other cars. Clint, I want you and Natasha to try to calm her down, we don't know what's causing this but her distress appears to make it worse," thinking that it was a bad time for Thor to go off-planet, Steve has Pepper notify medical to be prepped for incoming.

Bruce grips the couch cushion trying his best to remain calm and control the other guy.

Wanda starts to pace around the penthouse floor.

Vision had already phased through the walls with Clint and Natasha in tow.

"Okay, no need to have people panicking, FRIDAY let people know that nothing bad has happened just a mishap in Tony's lab," With a glance at Tony's pouting face, he adds, "Say something blew up again."

"Done, Captain."

Walking towards the stairwell, Steve scans the blacked out monitor, "Alright, Tony, try to contact Thor through Heimdall, let him know the situation. I'm going to head down and see if the situation can be contained." With an agile hop, he drops down the stairs 10 floors at a time, until he reaches the 35th floor.

* * *

Back in the elevator Nova flinches as she hears a screeching sound above her. Looking up she feels sharp screws plink off her face onto the floor.

"Great," she whispers, her hands still glowing, slightly less than before, and her breathing still unsteady. Though she has calmed down a tad, she is still freaking out, "I'm going to plummet to my death, even the elevator is against me." Her hands are shaky and her muscles feel weak.

"Now, now there's no need to panic," a very male husky voice says overhead.

"TIGER FUCKING WOODS!" Nova screams. A bolt of _something_ shoots from her hands turning the lights back on.

"Whoa! Or do, I've been called worse, that one's actually a step up, or down if you think about it. You alright there, Novalina?" A tall nimble man slips through the overhead vent after making sure the coast is clear. Leaning against a wall he crosses his really, really buff arms across his really buff chest. Oh, nooooo… _the arms though…_ shut up brain!

Nova stiffens, closing her eyes to lessen the effect of Gorgeous-Man-Syndrome, her heart begins to beat even faster, she prepares for the word vomit. She'd forgotten about how the Avengers only hire attractive people. "It's Nova, actually. How-How'd you know my name?" she demands. Her hands are glowing even brighter than before now.

"I read minds," he smirks.

"Really?" she squeaks.

He bursts out laughing, "No," her eyes pop open in annoyance and appreciation of the figure he cuts. Oh Zeus, she's pathetic. He then gestures to her chest, _the nerve!_

"You have a nametag."

"Oh, you're right," he is. Lying against her chest is a badge with her information hanging from a lanyard around her neck. She'd forgotten about that, nobody really notices besides security.

"Umm. Are you here to fire me?" she asks forgetting about her current predicament, the glow in her hands starts to dim, and her heart rate slows down.

Noticing this, Clint decides to humor her and distract her long enough for Nat to finish shimmying the doors open. "Actually no. Why? Should I be?" he raises his eyebrow.

"Yes," she mutters. At his questioning gaze, Nova explains, her shoulders slumping dejectedly and sighs, "So, my manager, I work at the R&D sector for the staff, is basically Umbridge and hates me," it doesn't take much for Nova to feel bad when it came to people disliking her, for being, well _her_. "I-I don't mean to blow things up or have mini-dance offs," she murmured, twisting her hands, "Or super gluing my cubicle mate to her chair, in retrospect she shouldn't have tried to sabotage my HawkBolts," Nova's eyes narrowed in displeasure, all nerves forgotten.

"HawkBolts?" Clint grins. At that smile and those dimples, Nova's face flushes and doesn't notice that the glow is almost completely gone from her hands. Or notice that the camera light is blinking.

"It's a proto-type, the name isn't permanent, it was meant to be a surprise, for you, essentially, you're my favorite!" at this news Clint's eyes light up, "I asked Ms. Potts if I could work on other weapons tech as long as I finished my required projects. You see she was the one who recruited me from Wayne Enterprises. I interned under Lucius Fox."

* * *

Up in the penthouse, surrounding the holoscreen in the middle of the room, half of the Avengers are gaping like fish. Particularly, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner look impressed, while Pepper smiles knowingly. The remaining Avengers listen through comms finding this girl to be quite noteworthy.

"Barton's not even working for it! She's practically hand feeding him information like she's feeding a stray puppy!" Tony remarks snippily.

"You're just jealous that you're an open book," quipped Banner.

"Better be a chapter book of my awesome swaggity swag," joked Tony, earning groans of protests from the team.

* * *

"I updated the specs for the HawkBolts last night, so now they are officially powered and charged by a mini arc, I made it into a watch for you! By using micro-nano tech I made you Taser/tracking bolts that can be fired from and recalled to your gloves made of nanofluid fabric, it's lighter than a feather and tougher than kevlar! The bolts are more aerodynamic, kinda almost supersonic if you want em to be, since I reduced the wave drag force by using nano-second electrical impulses sent from the watch, those short periods of energy deposition induce nonlinear flow mechanics that improves its performance," Nova gushed excitedly, "So you fire way faster and don't have to waste time collecting them!"

Clint is nearly shell-shocked as well as the team at hearing the news.

"How were you able to accomplish that? Stark keeps the arc information locked up tighter than Fort Knox," he muttered repeating Tony's question.

"I don't have any hobbies."

He gives her a "bullshit" detector look, Nova gives in.

"I can sorta tell by looking at him, his chest, the arc reactor I mean, umm, not that I stare at him," she begins, gesturing with her hands in the center of her chest, "The new arc reactor has an energy output of 8 gigajoules per second I'm guessing, now that the palladium is replaced with vibranium, I can tell by the change in the light emission, it's more white than blue now. The replacement element undergoes gamma-ray-mediated beta decay, so it's less toxic and has a higher energy output.

I _believe_ it's a form of cold fusion due to the absence of thermal reactor or heat generation. When the electrons are ejected from the core towards the rim it creates an electrical cell capable of generating enormous voltage and current whereas the gamma rays are deflected inward towards the core making it self-sustaining. Using micro-circuitry, the electrical loads in the circuit, relieve the electrostatic charge accumulations that come from an electrical current from the core, _that_ produces an electrical potential difference." Breathing hard and fast, Nova's face is glowing with happiness and success. She's practically vibrating.

Tony has pretty much fainted and Bruce looks dumbstruck.

At that moment Natasha has pried open the doors to see a slack-jawed Clint with his arms dangling stupidly by his sides.

Clint having absolutely no idea what she said, coughs, and says, "Okay. Cool."

"FRIDAY, please tell me you got a recording of that?" Nat asks with a grin. Behind her, Vision and Steve look on in amazement and a hint of wariness.

Clearing his throat, Steve steps in the elevator, "Hello, ma'am. I'm Steve Rodgers, I'm glad your alright. Would you mind if we head to Medical to get you evaluated?" He asks politely with a mega-watt smile.

Nova's eyes widen comically, she could feel the righteousness beam off of this one. He's a legit angel, a genetically enhanced one.

Seeing Captain America out of his spangling suit, holding THE shield while wearing a t-shirt and hoodie with jeans and boots, was too much for Nova's crazy morning. The Gorgeous-Man-Syndrome has become a pandemic, Nova isn't very pious but she takes this moment to thank the gods for letting her life be this awesome.

Then she faints.


End file.
